From Baggage to Rebirth, Through Vision and Self-Worth: A Black Man’s Anniversary Reflection
“It was not until she looked up to me, did the black community began to ponder my worth. I remember it with clarity the day she held my hand, as they looked scorned in judgment.
It wasn’t only because she was white but I’m thinking, it was how she looked at me in comparison to their previous perceptions of me. When Kelly set her gaze upon me, it was not in assessment of my status, the car I drove nor the clothes on my back. She looked at me through un-judging eyes paired with a glimpse of who I was to become, rather than the hellish reality that adorned my personification. Moreover, it was the unrealized woman in her, that beckoned the unfinished business of God in me.
So, when seemingly the black community judged me for being with and marrying a white woman, It goes without saying I couldn’t have cared less, being I wasn’t perceived or shown to have value anyway. I remember a person asking me “why would you marry a white girl?” Being It was a frivolous question, I simply replied, “because she sees in me, what I cannot,” and I walked away.
Maybe, it was not that she was white but rather the timing was meticulously right. That is, for the both of us as we simultaneously chose to put our baggage aside and take that daunting leap of faith! Truth be expressed, they couldn’t have cared less either but for some reason negative connotations grew evermore apparent. In fact, it was not until people started to notice Kelly and I were happy before biases were heard aloud, cackling in utterances of disbelief.
As I saw it, Kelly did not exploit my imperfections, rather she chose to trust my inner perfection, as only a woman’s intuition could.
Kelly took a chance on me as a man, who was not only black but black and broken, oppressed, and stressed, and for the most part uninterested. It was not until I saw the reflection of the man God created in me, upon the gloss of her eyes, before I began to realize my life’s work was being made-known. By the time my vision was cleared from self-absorption, Kelly was right there in front of me, over-bubbly and steadfast with exuberant hope. Almost as if she knew what God had in store for us.
In hindsight, obviously it wasn’t the entirety of the black community, nor did the world revolve around me but, just maybe, it was all about the spiritual timing. Nevertheless, we know what we know, until we leap and know no more of that which held us down.
On today, our 9th anniversary, I reflect upon how she made me feel worth at a time when I and my environment perceived me to be worthless. It was within this moment in time, when Kelly chose to trust in me, that which was embedded within my spirit. And in doing so, inspired me to raise myself up and surrender to the woman God prepared in her. As such, it was the God in her that brought out the God in me, as we came together as one to give God back his unwavering glory, through praise and in worship.”
This is my story, my reflection of closure from baggage to rebirth, in honor of our anniversary. May God bless you, your story and yours.
– GOD’S GREATEST CREATION: THE WOMAN by Reginald O’Neal Gibson